Disconnect

When I woke up, my body wasn't mine. It took me a few moments to fully notice, but the arms were too light when I raised them and my fingernails were too neat to belong to me. There were no mirrors in the room I was in, or windows for that matter, just dull steel walls and the plastic chair I was sitting in. I tried to find some reason why I wouldn't be in my own body, but even the idea of that happening to anybody sounded absurd when I tried to think about it. Shakily, steadily, I stood up to get a better look at my surroundings.

It definitely wasn't the hospital I'd checked into. I distinctly recalled bright whites and calming blues, flowers on the windowsill, the hum of activity outside of my room. There was no sound coming from outside of the steel box I was trapped in. The outline of the door was only faintly visible and the moment I saw it, instinct took over and I sprinted faster than I ever had in my life towards it. I hammered with the fists that weren't mine with all the might I could muster, clanging flesh against steel in the desperate hope that there was anybody around that could hear me.

“Don't panic.” A soft yet commanding voice crackled through a speaker above me, “You will be released once the experiment is completed.”

“What experiment?” I demanded, hearing myself for the first time and knowing for certain that I was screaming as someone else, “What did you do to my body?!”

“Your body is fine.” The voice continued, “Well, it should be fine. As I said before, don't panic. Just focus on what I tell you to do and complete the experiment. Then we can set everything back to how it was.”

I took a deep breath, hoping somehow I could ignore the ridiculous scenario I was in. It didn't feel like a dream. Everything was too solid, too tangible. I dug my now immaculate nails into my arms and sure enough, the pain was sharp and immediate. I dizzily stumbled over to the table nearby, only just noticing...a Rubik's cube? It didn't make sense, but then again, nothing had made much sense since I'd woken up.

“What am I even supposed to do?” I said.

“Just solve the cube.” The voice from above sighed impatiently, “You should already know the answer.”

I squinted, just barely able to stop myself from throwing up. The disconnect from what I thought my body was and what it was now was too disorientating to focus. I was terrible at Rubik's cubes anyway. Normally I'd just end up shuffling randomly until it got so messed up that I'd just give up on it and do something else. Even doing that much seemed pointless at this stage.

“I can't do it.” I said, too sick to bother being courteous, “This is stupid, just let me out already.”

“You...don't know the answer then?” The voice said with a trace of disappointment.

I took one more look at the cube, tossing it casually in my hands as if the motion would somehow trigger a burst of inspiration. No such luck. I looked up to the ceiling despite knowing that wasn't where the owner of the voice was, “Nope. I suck at Rubik's cubes. Should've picked somebody else.”

“No, that can't be...hold on a moment.” The voice went silent for ten minutes before appearing again from the other side of the door, “I'm going to enter the room now. Please try to remain calm.”

The man that opened the door wasn't at all what I had been expecting of my captor. Mad scientists in the movies always have grey hair, crooked smiles and wild eyes. This man looked more like a soap opera doctor. Tousled black hair, perfect teeth, weary blue eyes that were still somewhat entrancing; he would've been attractive in any other context.

He wasted little time in questioning me, “Do you remember anything about Dr. Burke now? It's me, Dr. Hawkins.”

I shook my head, “It'd probably help if I had even the faintest idea of what the hell is going on right now.”

He ignored my statement and began pacing, mumbling to himself, “So if even external stimuli isn't working then...”

Seeing that I wasn't going to get a response any other way, I placed myself intentionally in his path, “I'm not going to co-operate any further until I understand what's going on. Why am I here? Why isn't this my body?!”

“Ok, ok, stay calm.” He clamped a hand firmly on my shoulder, “It's important that you stay calm, otherwise the connection might be severed too early.”

“I can hardly stay calm like this.” I scowled, “Tell me. What's going on?”

Dr. Hawkins paused for a while, “To put it in simple terms...you've switched bodies with Dr Burke's.”

The minute he said that, I could feel myself floating. My vision began swimming and I was close to collapse. I would've slipped away completely if he hadn't been shaking my shoulders and sharply requesting that I keep myself focused on where I was. With a little effort, my eyes corrected themselves and the room came back into perfect view.

“Wh...I...huh...” I couldn't muster words, instead mumbling whatever noises I could summon.

“Well, when I say 'you', I'm referring to your consciousness. Dr Burke is currently controlling your body and you're controlling hers.” Dr. Hawkins paused again, frowning as he tried to find a simple way for it to make any sense at all, “It's like a...a wireless connection. Like, imagine a wireless computer monitor. It connects to a server somewhere else and gets signals from it so it knows what to display, but you wouldn't know there was a server at all if you didn't already know it existed. Human consciousness, at least in theory, is the signal from the metaphorical server connecting to the human body.”

“You know that sounds insane, right?” I laughed weakly, “Even if I did believe any of that, how and why am I any part of it?”

“Due to your illness, the connection between the 'server' and your body was fluctuating more than usual. From there, it was a simple matter of waiting for the right moment to re-route the signal and switch it with Dr Burke's.” The mad scientist grinned proudly but the grin faded quickly, “Oh...now that I say that out loud, that does seem a little unethical. We aren't even sure what side effects there are to this procedure.”

Panic was boiling over into rage in the core of Dr Burke's heart that I was borrowing, “For God's sake, why the hell would you do something like that?”

“Look, I-I understand that this is a lot of information to take in, but-” He swallowed anxiously, “Consider the possibilities if we can make this work. If we can re-route consciousness itself, then humanity becomes immortal. Perfect, even. We can build ourselves new bodies, endless back-ups, the knowledge of the past will no longer be garbled by translation and flawed interpretation. So while it is, perhaps, just a little unethical to use an unwilling participant, you can surely understand the reasoning behind the risk.”

“Easy to say that when you're not the one-” My spiteful retort was interrupted by Dr. Hawkins snatching the Rubik's cube from my hand.

He stared in awe at the cube, “You said you didn't know the answer.”

My fingers had been moving on their own while I was concentrating on what he was saying. By some miracle, that subconscious movement had been precisely the solution to the cube. It took me a moment to register that it was me that had done anything. Dr. Hawkins continued staring in amazement until his eyes lit up with delight, “Of course! No wonder you didn't know it!”

“I...don't get it.” I said.

“Ok, ok, um...it's like the difference between the internal hard drive and an external hard drive. The external hard drive can never be used to access the information on the internal hard drive unless you copy that information onto it, BUT, the machine you're using can access both of them.” Dr Hawkins tripped over himself trying to find the words, “So, um, if that's the case, the internal hard drive is like the muscle memory and subconscious, and your consciousness is the external hard drive. So your body can still perform actions subconsciously based on Dr. Burke's memories even if you don't have those memories.”

“Ok, I solved the Rubik's cube. Can I leave now?” I snapped, only just absorbing what I was being told.

“Ah...well...” He broke eye contact, “We have to wait for Dr. Burke to bring your body here...just for safety reasons. As I mentioned before, we're not sure about potential side effects of what we've done. For all we know, we might have permanently switched your minds.”

My stomach lurched at the thought of it. I stared at the hands that weren't mine, arms that weren't mine, fingernails that weren't mine. I was caged in flesh and bone and sinew, none of it familiar, and for some reason that thought was terrifying. My heart...no, Dr. Burke's heart was exploding with the fear I was feeling. I had to get out. I didn't know how or why, but I had to escape the cage.

Inspiration struck. If I was simply consciousness, then if the body became unconscious, I wouldn't be in there any more, right? I didn't care if it made sense or not. My mind latched onto that idea as Dr Burke's legs stiffly marched me over to the wall. It didn't matter what Dr. Hawkins was asking. He could be confused as much as he liked, but that wasn't going to stop me from fleeing the prison he'd put me in. I leaned back as far as her body was capable and with all the strength I could access from her, I smacked my head against the dull steel walls.

I could barely hear Dr. Hawkins' panicked screaming as blood rushed to my ears. Pain seared the front of my head, a pointless warning of danger. I launched my head into the wall again, this time harder and more frenzied than before. Dr Burke's head screamed bursts of agony at me. Dr. Hawkins tried to grab me, but he was seconds too late and I tilted my head back for the final time and rushed to greet the cold steel again. While Dr. Hawkins' panicked shrieking drifted away, Dr. Burke's lips let out my soft giggles as I floated away, free of my cage at last.